I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
