Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
