yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize