do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
