I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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