I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
