im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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