Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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