nut hugger
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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