i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
