Cold hands, warm shart.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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