Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
