If i come over, it means nothing
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
