omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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