Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
