I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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