i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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