i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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