Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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