i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
