i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
