the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Panties = found
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
