"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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