Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
did you just send me my own nude
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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