So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
