doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do herpes really smell.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
