If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
