..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
