She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
tell me about the eggs
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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