3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i think im in europe. pls send help
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
