your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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