You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
