I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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