Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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