I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
