i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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