White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
