So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize