He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
