i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
