a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
