I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you never un-have a 4some
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
