I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
