He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
