you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
