her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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