Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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