O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
