So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
