let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
