Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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