At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
