i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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