can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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